Burtology

burtology is a religious view/belief that is believed to have been founded in the late 1800s after a man now referred to as burt burton. it started in a banana harvesting town in brazil and has spread from there. burtology or burtism was always spread by word of mouth until now and is starting to spread through other media. the educational and unbiased bibles are now being written from the stories that have been p-ssed down for centuries. burtimists follow straightforward rules and life lessons, from the wise people stated in the burt bibles.

burtology was declared a cult in 1906 by those in political power in the area that it had originated. burt burton is a symbol that represents a image of the perfect human.

a burtimist’s day starts at 5 in the morning when a family meets at the burt shrine where they give their hearts and souls to the holy burt by making the sound of the holy burt. following this each family member places one banana on the altar, for later, and eats another. long ago a evil spirit came to the prophet giving him 3 bananas, he was about to grab them when the holy burt and shielded them from the terrible number by destroying the third banana.

burtology teaches many valuable life lessons but one of the first was to do with fruit. then if you have two bananas you eat one in the morning and one after dinner. if you have three bananas you kill yourself. it is vital ‘not’ to eat three bananas.
person 1: whats your religion?

person 2: oh, its burtology of course!