Cabrera

going to work intoxicated or hungover. term coined after tigers first baseman miguel cabrera blew a .26 bac the night before a game during the 2009 pennant race.
i know it’s a work night but i’m still going to pull a cabrera.
a servant to the master devil of the world. she is an advocate from spain that has set out to make students suffer and cry on a daily basis. she forces every one within 27 feet of her to talk and reply in the wicked language of spanish.

since she is so scary, we have come up with some key points to help you succeed when you face her:

tell her you didn’t do your homework and you’re orgulloso (we don’t know what orgulloso means but she smiles whenever she hears it, so it must be a compliment)
don’t take any notes. she likes it when you tell her it’s all in your head.
randomly get up during cl-ss, and draw the sine curve. she loves geometry.
take pictures of her in the cl-ss when her face gets red. she is a fan of photography too.

oh, one more thing, every spanish word and article is gonna be on the ib test. good luck

also her favorite students are pepe, mario, tico, nicolas, rico, and andres
student 1: i didn’t do my homework
cabrera: are you proud senor/senorita?

student 2: i did my homework
cabrera: todo?
student 2: yea…
cabrera: arbol? de navidad?
student 2: ermm..no
cabrera: vamos a ver… -death glare-

cabrera: what is the past perfect subjunctive of the ustedes form of the verb desparangaricutirimizar?
student: good one
cabrera: where were you in spanish one, tho, zree?
student: not in your cl-ss obvii
cabrera: iz ti-em senor/a

student: umm can you sign this field trip permission slip for me?
cabrera: only if you tell me 5,903,887,432,009 sinonimos para la palabra “slip”
doing a “cabrera” is to lose the rag and throw the toys out of your pram when you don’t get your own way after trying to manipulate the rules in your favour.

it was first witnessed in late 2009 in baku, azerbaijan when a normally placid, intelligent welsh guy suddenly went ballistic after being told that his opinion of the rules of a certain compet-tion were not exactly in line with the actual rules that had been set for that compet-tion.
if the resultant explosion of anger, rage and frustration could be harnessed then the world’s energy crisis would be solved for at least the next four millennia !!
gaz : “dude, your guy has just been disqualified from that compet-tion”

steve : “i’ll bring in my reserve then shall i ?”

gaz : “no way dude, your guy started and was disqualified”

steve : “you bunch of f—–g, ars—e sh—ing b–t—s !!!”

gaz : “wow dude, you’re having like a monster cabrera !!”