Cambridge

best place in the world
an english city, much better than that american rip-off
person1: shall we go to cambridge?
person2: but i don’t want to go to america!
(person1 shoots person2)
a city in the east of england, home to cambridge university. the city also has a m-ssive claim to the birthplace of football (the most widely played and popular sport in the world), as it is where the first universally accepted rules were written and first played. sadly, this is largely unknown, due to the city and uni being so stuck up and football being considered working cl-ss. shame.

it should be noted that not everyone in cambridge is stuck up, there’s plenty of down to earth people such as myself!
cambridge – home of football and of one of the best unis in the world!
home of the largest f-ckin rowers in the world!
sold their souls for the strength of 20 men.
expect 2nd place when racing.

“who are those guys?!”
“that’s cambridge”
“that guy’s a novice?!?!?!?”
“he’s 12 feet tall with biceps the size of my chest”
“no f-ckin way he’s a novice”
the birth place of the zombie apocalypse.
awwww!!! why didn’t we listen to melissa when she told us the zombie apocalypse would start in cambridge, now we are getting eatin alive!
all of the definitions here painting cambridge, m-ssachusetts as some playground for the ultra-elite are dead wrong. cambridge isn’t even rich compared to most parts of greater boston; in fact, most of cambridge is straight-up working cl-ss.

this is how it should be defined:

1. the best part of greater boston. owns every other part (north end, southie, brookline, newton, roxbury, dorchester, somerville, medford, etc.) in every way possible. no other borough/neighborhood/neighbor city even compares to this place. there is always something to do, always.

2. a progressive city with a rich history. home to some of the highest ranked universities and highest percentage of democrat voters.

3. the only place in the world where harvard and mit professors live next door to immigrant families on food stamps, who in turn live next door to high-profile lawyers, who live next door to wobblies, who live next door to old-new england money grandparents, who live next door to harvard frat boys.
i love going to cambridge to hang with all the hipsters in harvard square. then afterwards i always stop to eat at the best indian food places outside of delhi. once i’m done that i usually go protest some sh-t with the socialists in cambridgeport. i could live here forever.
1. home of the fastest runners this side of the universe. everyone in this town is solid, except for the crew team. people who do crew are pansies.

2. not a suburb.
did you see that kid from cambridge go by? neither did i!

those kids from cambridge sure would bang out those rotten somerville kids any day of the week!

i heard the crew team is having a get together. let’s totally crash it and teach them a lesson!