Captain January
main entry: captain january
function: noun
1: one who brings salvation.
2: mythical savior and universal bailout amongst marines. first introduced to the public in the popular film full metal jacket.
3: that old dude that saved shirley temple from not only eminent death, but also kept the truant officer from locking her up.
4: a taxi cab.
1: born again christian: are you saved marine?
marine: stand fast on that sh-t, i’m born again hard, and i’ve already got captain january!
2: lt. lockhart: joker… i want you to get straight up to phu bai. captain january will need all his people.
3: after watching captain january 1936
marine#1: man, captian january even saved shirley temple! that’s one hard f-cking charger!
marine#2: you know, i often wondered what he looked like.
4: marine: give me a shot!
bartender: dude, you’ve had enough 100 proof.
marine: i’m not drivin’, so fire for effect!
bartender: you’re still gonna get a public drunkeness charge, so i’m not servin’ you!
marine: don’t worry about it, i’ll call captain january.
bartender: who?
marine: yellow cab f-ck tard, so give me another shot and turn f-cking two!
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