Captain Shitty

1. anyone who gets overly intoxicated rapidly and winds up laying on the floor puking on the carpet before anyone else is even buzzed.

2. an appalachian folk hero who’s spirit hides in bottles of cheap whiskey waiting to possess anyone who consumes the liquor. possession by captain sh-tty can be spotted by looking for the symptoms: heavy intoxication, singing off beat to the music, laying on the ground, excessive vomiting, loud voice, basic and outrageous shenanigans, and the use of the phrases “i’m not drunk,” and “i love you guys”, often mashed into one loud slurred sentence.

3. your friends cousin who gets extremely f-cked up on his first ever acid hit and a m-ssive amount of sh-tty vodka at one of your acid parties and pukes all over the place and sends you into a bad trip since your contemplating a possible emergency situation on acid.
#1: i’mnotdrunkiloveyouguys!- pukes – woooooo!
#2: dude, shut the f-ck up.
#1: that girls got a sweet -ss. like to. f-ck her. hey!
#3: that’s my girlfriend. you need to shut the f-ck up.
#2: f-ckin’ kids turned into captain sh-tty, don’t listen to him.

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