carlisle

a small town northwest of boston, adjacent to concord. although there is no definitive town center, and there is no legit place to hang after school, it is still a great town. we have kimball’s. concordians like to make fun of carlislians, saying that they are cow-tipping hicks who live in the middle of nowhere. the truth is that carlisle is as much in the woods as any other town around here, just ask anyone from the city. carlisle merely doesn’t have a commercial center, otherwise it would be identical to concord. carlisle also owns all of concord’s music programs combined. plus, we have kimball’s.
guy #1: “hey man, want to hang out tomorrow?”
guy #2: “sure, your house or mine?”
guy #1: “my house, you live in carlisle.”

concordian 1: “hey, wanna go hang in the gas station parking lot?”
concordian 2: “sure, we’re so much cooler than those carlislians.”

most kids from concord have never been to carlisle, and yet they still make judgements.

inner city youth #1: “could you ever imagine living out in the woods? in the boondies?”
inner city youth #2: “yeah, i know, right? like, in concord, they’re all such hicks. i’d go insane.”
small town. h-ll on earth until you leave. heaven on earth until u get back.
“im from carlisle”
“dude, that town is sooo cute”
“i know. its amazing i love it”
— goes home—
“i hate this f-cking small -ss town”
carlisle is a small city of around 70,000 people (2001 census) located in north-west england, ten miles from the scottish border. with its origins in roman pre-christian britain, carlisle, c-mbria came long before any other carlisle, especially that vampire from those sh-t-house books.

the roman settlement of luguvalium was built atop the older northumbrian town of caer luel – literally luel’s castle. the latin name translates to roughly the same meaning. the town is thought to have been named for the celtic god lugos, the namesake of many other towns such as lugudunum – modern lyon.

carlisle played a fairly large part in the 1745 jacobite rebellion, when it played host to the young pretender after capitulating to the jacobite cause. this treason was rewarded by the duke of c-mberland, nicknamed butcher c-mberland, reputedly with the execution of every tenth man, woman or child in the town. carlisle was also sacked by the scottish rebel william wallace, and not york as shown in braveheart.

today carlisle is best known for its h-m-phobic bishop – who claimed that the floods in kingston-upon-hull were g-d’s judgement against h-m-s-xuals, its large biscuit factory, average football team – carlisle united, its norman castle, medieval cathedral and notorious nightclub-filled street – botchergate or botch as it is known to the locals.
carlisle, the great border city.
someone really hot and beautiful who everyone wants to be around. has an amazing personality, one of the nicest people in the entire world who is friends with everyone.
god i want carlisle
a wonderful, fictional vampire in the book twilight written by the author who milks everything, stephenie meyer who is the vampire who adoped edward and changed edward into a vampire before he died. he also practices medicine. he’s wonderful because he resists the urge of blood while operating on his patients. carlisle also changed all of the other memebers of the cullen family. edward was first, esme, rosalie, emmet, alice and jasper.
in the second book carlisle st-tched up bella’s arm after she was alsmost eaten by his other adopted son jasper.

carlisle is a small town in pennsylvania, that houses a small liberal arts college and a school district.
you know you are from carlisle when everybody knows somebody at the grocery store. like, when you are walking in giant and your mom sees her friend and you have to go over there with you mom and talk to your moms friend and her hot son even though you look like sh-t. you go to panera after school during middle school every friday. when you go to the movies you see all of your friends. everybody is friends with everybody else on facebook. you talk about people behind their back and they b-tch at you because they found out you were the one who told…
a wonderful, fictional vampire in the book twilight written by the author who milks everything, stephenie meyer. carlisle is the vampire who adoped edward and changed edward into a vampire before he died. he also practices medicine. he’s wonderful because he resists the urge of blood while operating on his patients. carlisle also changed all of the other memebers of the cullen family. edward was first, then esme, rosalie, emmet, alice and jasper.
in the second book carlisle st-tched up bella’s arm after she was alsmost eaten by his other adopted son jasper.