Carnegie

a somewhat ghetto town in southwestern pennsylvania, about 5 minutes away from the city of pittsburgh. the kids there attend carlynton jr/sr high school, and almost all the teachers there are complete idiots.

98% of people in carnegie are avid steeler fans. they all speak fluent pittsburghese and love their rolling rock. even the kids (under 21). you will pretty much see houses decorated with steeler paraphenalia, and fans watching the games every sunday. primanti’s is a must.

every september, carnegie has a town festival, commonly known as the “blues festival”, or “carnegie days”.
there are numerous drug dealers, old people, hobos, african americans, and little kids living here.
but one of the best places in carnegie is don don’s, they have the best chinese food by far around here. carnegie was in the guinness book of world records for being the town with the most bars and churches in it.
kid 1: hey where do you live?
kid 2: carnegie, it sucks!
kid 1: you mean that ghetto sh-t town near pittsburgh?
kid 2: yeah, and yesterday my neighbor with the 7 kids got convicted of selling weed from his garage.
kid 1: sounds typical, im sorry you gotta live there!
kid 2: yeah, meeeee too
to use the magical powers from dale carnegie’s how to win friends and influence people to obtain what you want. to be polite is not carnegie. carnegie is only employed with a plan.
-man how did you pull in three -sses at the same time last night?

-carnegie
unable to admit being a raging alcoholic, a carnegie will think about alcohol atleast 25 times a day and very often use the word irrelevant to anything of any importance! work is only there to pay for the addiction!
i.e ‘doing a carnegie’, getting very drunk very fast and making a complete t-t of yourself before running home in a pink cowboy hat and a stripey jumper!
a game played where someone is asked if they want to play carnegie. if they say yes they are taken into a dark room with a random partner. they can do whatever they want s-xually with them. after they’re finished they take a pen and draw a symbol on their left hand(for girls) and on their right hand(for guys).(symbol shown below); after two people play the game, they must never see eachother again. the girl leaves the room before the guy, and they never get to see eachothers faces or know their name. once someone has played the game(and has the symbol on their hand), they must ask another person to play, and keep the chain going. no backing out.

carnegie symbol: http://i38.tinypic.com/oiu3uu.jpg
karen has the symbol on her hand. she asks dylan to play carnegie. he says sure. karen sets him up with lola in a dark room. they ‘fool around’. never asking eachothers name or where they live. lola puts the carnegie symbol on dylan’s right hand, and dylan puts the symbol on lola’s left hand. lola leaves the room before dylan does. they never see eachother again. they both ask other people to play. and the cycle starts over.