catastrophist


one who imagines the ‘worst-case scenario’ as something so completely horrific it borders on absurd. a ‘catastrophist’ usually starts by saying “yeah but what if…” then, talking at a normal speed, increases speed until they’re talking very quickly as they relate their vision of the ‘worst-case scenario’ which may involve any (or all) of the following things: a psycho with an axe, getting chopped up into little pieces, ending up homeless and dest-tute, sucking d-ck for crack, any number of serious diseases or medical afflictions (see chuck palahniuk’s “choke” the main character had catastrophist tendancies)

see also “final destinationism” (yet to be defined)
“dude, it’s one stupid term-paper”
“yeah but if i don’t do well on this one then my gpa falls and i’ll never get into a good college and i won’t get a good job and that will devastate my mother and she’ll commit suicide and i’ll have to take care of my little brother and he’ll get lupus, need a kidney and i will be forced to sell my -ss on the street because i can’t afford the surgery because i don’t have health-care all because i failed this stupid paper!”
“stop being such a catastrophist, it’s not even worth 10% of your grade!!!”
the person who sees the worst possible outcome in everything.
being a catastrophist, benji’s mother imagined her son falling through the gl-ss table every time he tried to climb on it.

Read Also:

  • retabb

    a meaningless insult you’re left with when some dumb-ss on ifunny tries to troll you, but can’t even spell. had to urban dictionary retabb to see what it meant. turns out it’s not a real word.

  • zivaishe

    a boy who lives life like a true slave and drinks 99% of the worlds vodka per day. usually has friends called konrad and noah. likes a girl called ella. yo fam you be living like a zivaishe

  • emo hater

    someone who is not a fool, and who is not sucked into the current trend (emo). emo hating bridges the gap between different parts of society. for example, i (a metalhead) can agree with both rednecks, nu-metal kids, and preps on this subject (of course, i despise rednecks, nu-metal kids, and preps). emo haters generaly […]

  • brazilian starfish

    a style of pubic hair removal of the b-tthole region using wax and hot peppers, traditionally using the brazilian starfish pepper. “hey becky i heard jennifer got a brazilian starfish for spring break, her b-tthole is still on fire”

  • scratching your knee

    euphemism relating to masturbation. generally used when caught red handed and in desperate need of an excuse to avert suspicion. did you get caught in your hotel room scratching your knee again? a term that is used as an excuse for when you’re caught jerking one out. could also mean jerking off in general. guy […]


Disclaimer: catastrophist definition / meaning should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. All content on this website is for informational purposes only.