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central jersey is the portion of new jersey between north jersey and south jersey. the actual boundaries are debatable, but if you’re from central jersey you know it. new jerseyans not from central jersey may deny the existance of a central, but they probably have vist-ted to go down the sh-r-.

central jersey has lots of diners, lots of ny commuters, and is the place where both bruce springsteen and bon jovi reside. it’s where kevin smith is from, and where his store “jay and silent bob’s secret stash- is (red bank). danny devito features asbury park, a central jersey town, in his movies, because that’s where he’s from. it’s approximately an hour fifteen to nyc and about an hour 45 to cape may.

it’s suburbia. with jersey att-tude.
“what part of jersey you from?”
“central.” -pause- “red bank? belmar?… about 45 minutes north of wildwood. exit 105.”
the best part of new jersey. no other part of jersey can prove to be as good as us, no matter how much they try. they may try to be lame and claim that central is just what north or south doesn’t want, but we’re too good for your -ss. it’s the only place in jersey where:

1. every highway known to man will take you home. you’re -never lost-
2. we call the park great adventure, not six flags. there’s more than one six flags! (and more than six…-ss)
3. close to everything! nyc, close. philly, close. sh-r-? close. forest? close. mountains? close. every-d-mn-thing! close!
4. central jersey will be home to the world’s tallest and fastest roller coaster come spring 2005, kingda ka at great adventure.
5. no north jersey oil refinery on the turnpike smell
why the h-ll did a wawa move here? don’t they realise that this is central jersey? who wants that south jersey store?

ignant person- oh my god…we’re lost! how ‘o how will we ever get home!
central jerseyan- pick a highway.
where i’m from. we are actually closer to nyc than to some parts in south jersey which is kind of funny. central jersey includes the counties of somerset, middles-x, monmouth, hunterdon and mercer. north jersey is more industrious and south jersey is more agricultural. central jersey has a lot of suburbs and has trenton the capital. people either like the ny giants or the philly eagles, a lot of people commute to manhattan and we call sandwitches subs. despite popular belief wa wa isn’t only in south jersey we have plenty of them up here too. we are low-key people that know how to party. if you were going to visit jersey i wouldn’t reccomend central jersey cause theres not a lot to do besides go to the mall, party, and movies. south jersey has a lot of sh-r-s and north jersey has the famous bergen county.
i don’t get why north and south jersey fight. no one even knows about central jersey so not a lot of people hate us.
the area in new jersey located inbetween north and south. home of the infamous raritan valley, this area is arguably the most ideal area to live in nj… halfway in between nyc and philly, easy access to the turnpike and parkway, and there are roughly seven malls within a 25 mile radius in central jersey. central jersey also offers the smartest kids in jersey. plus, central jersey is the home area to the boss bruce springsteen, jon bon jovi, jack nicholson, danny devito, and former all-great quarterback joe theismann. if you want to witness how a true jerseyan acts, go to any strip mall located in central jersey. oh, and great adventure we have. we don’t call it six flags… thats when you know a f-ckin’ foreigner is here, when they call great adventure “six flags”. please. theres a f-ckin’ six flags in dallas, kentucky, georgia, missouri, california, and illinois. but there’s only one true “great adventure”.. and you can find it right here in central jersey boyy.
matt: “yo, where you at?”
joe: “central jersey, yo.”
matt: “you at da mall?”
joe: “h-ll yeah boy!”
matt: “which one?”
joe: “it’s either menlo or woodbridge i can neva tell da difference.”
an area of nj that no one has heard of until they meet one of these “central jersey” inhabitants. disbelief and denial are common reactions (believing that nj is divided among a north/south, nyc/philly paradigm).

what’s actually happening here is that, being above the south jersey divider, inhabitants of “central jersey” are in reality in the same sphere of influence as the folks in north jersey. they have the same culture: ny sports, guidos, juice heads, grenades. they share the same hatred of philly, hoagies, jimmies, wooder, water ice, and our philly/south jersey “o’s”. however these people become disenchanted with north jersey, realizing how undesirable that lifestyle is, but realizing they have nothing in common with north jersey’s rival, they try to invent a new identifier for themselves: “central jersey”.

when asked what’s the difference between north and south jersey, it’s quite easy to illicit many examples. when prompted, “what’s the difference between you and north jersey?” a central jerseyan will actually be unable to provide any examples. that’s because there are none. proving the fact, that by absence of difference, central jersey is in fact an extension of and shares its bloodline with north jersey.

trying to invent a precedent for his false belief, the central jerseyan might try one of these tactics:
american #1: “yeah, how ’bout north and south korea fighting..”
central jersey f-cker: “yeah it’s even worse for those people in central korea.”
american #1: “that doesn’t exist…”

american #2: “remember when germany was divided into east and west germany?”
central jersey f-cker: “yeah and central germany, too.”
american #2: “no……”

american #3: “in the civil war we had the union from the north and the confederacy in the south, right?”
central jersey f-cker: “and the centralcy in the middle.”
american #3: “what? that doesn’t make any sense…”

south jersey resident: “what makes up north jersey?”
central jersey f-cker: “north of i-195, love of nyc, saying “the city” and meaning ny, guidos, mets/yanks, rangers/devils, giants/jets, knicks/nets, and hatred of philly, water ice, hoagies, and making fun of the south jersey/philly accent.”
south jersey resident: “ok, what makes up central jersey?”
central jersey f-cker: “north of i-195, love of nyc, saying “the city” and meaning ny, guidos, mets/yanks, rangers/devils, giants/jets, knicks/nets, and hatred of philly, water ice, hoagies, and making fun of the south jersey/philly accent.”
south jersey resident: “wait….that’s the same thing!”
central jersey f-cker: “no…no it’s not!!”
parts of central jesrey are an hour and fifteen minutes frim nyc, but much of it is much closer. i’m a proud central jersey girl and my hometown is only 35 minutes from nyc. did you guys forget that middles-x county is part of central jersey. it is, however, correct to say that central jersey is the best part of this great state!
joe: how long does it take to get from central jersey into port authority?

ed: well that depends. with no traffic you’ll be there in 35 minutes from exit 9.
central jersey is the best place to be in new jersey. it’s not smelly and full of guidos like north jersey; nd it’s also not all farm land and full of country loving hicks like south jersey.

it’s close enough to everything to where it is only a 10-15 minute drive to the mall or movies. we have the most beautiful beaches (sandy hook, ocean grove). there are some nice wawas and we have sub shops all over. it’s the best place for the more level headed cl-ssy people from the state. bruce is refered to here as the boss. the boss and jovi still live in this area,rumson and navesink 🙂 clerks was filmed here. highlands is the highest point on the eastern coast, which is central jersey. it’s great adventure, not six flags. the cops here are the best, strict but not douche bags. it is definitely the safest part of nj.

732!
central jersey