Chav Wagon

limousines of the stretched variety that aren’t used by heads of state but are instead hired by chavs the moment they’ve scr-ped together a bit of money in the mistaken belief that it’s possible to buy cl-ss.

often pink, decked out with lasers and under-ch-ssis lights.

the stretched hummer is the ultimate chav wagon.
there’s more std’s in that chav wagon than most brothels.
an automobile typically used for the transportation of chavs. often ford fiesta five seater cars with seven pregnant chavs sitting in the back and two pot-smoking chavs holding cans of special brew in the front.

the dvla only grants “chavwagon” status to a vehicle if it complies with the following requirements:

– the exhaust pipe must be fitted with a fake exhaust cap to make the vehicle sound like it has flatulence problems.
– the vehicle must have a child seat in the front p-ssenger seat with the head against the seat with malfunctioning seatbelt.
– the petrol cap must be missing.
– each wheel must have cheap alloy material typically purchased from ebay or del-boy.
– at least one of the car’s wing mirrors must be smashed, cracked or preferably missing.
– tyre pressures must be capable of witholding at minimum five chavs, their mothers and their “loot”.
– whilst in operation, all p-ssengers must wear baseball caps at a 45 degree angle. strict fines are in place for drivers of chavmobiles not wearing necessary head gear.
– chavwagons must not under any circ-mstances hold valid insurance or a full mot certificate.
– taxation discs must be scrumpled up as to hide the actual expiry date; thus creating confusion for dvla vans and traffic wardens.
darren: “sh-t, i’ve got to pick up my missus from school and go to probation by six o’clock.”

lisa: “use the chavwagon, like…”

darren: “mint.”