cheeky ned
n. a particular breed of ned or chav who, instead of being plain aggressive and threatening, is full of bravado and chooses instead to shout witticisms at p-ssers-by. favourites include:
“show’s yer f-nny!” (“could i please see your v-g-n-?”)
“gie’s a gobble!” (“would you please perform oral s-x on me?”)
“we arra peepell!” (chanted throughout glasgow housing estates whenever rangers win the league – “we are the people?” g-d knows what it means)
cheeky neds are more very curious, constantly asking you what you are doing or looking at and wondering if you’d care to duel.
cheeky ned (at bus stop at 2 in the morning with bottle of buckfast) : whit you lookin’ at?
p-sser-by: eh, nothing really. straight ahead mostly.
cheeky ned: whit? whit you daein’?
p-sser-by: what am i doing? going home. why?
cheeky ned: whit? who you talkin’ tae?
p-sser-by: i was under the impression i was talking to you.
cheeky ned: aw, whit man! you’re gettin pure do’ed!
p-sser-by: i hope your cigarette ash lands on your tracksuit.
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