chippy bastard

a big fatty b-m b-m, with several sweaty chins and grease stains all down his only top, probably with stripes. can be found any time day or night in any chip shop nationwide, only eats food from the chippy, which he takes back to his mum’s house and eats in front of whatever primetime tv sh-te is on, probably ant and dec. this term can also be used to describe any sc-mmy munter who walks around swinton in her pyjama bottoms at 8 o’clock at night with a fish dinner or two tucked under her arm and her giro in her back pocket, tripping over her earrings.

‘b-st-rd’ can be changed for anything you like, chippy tw-t, chippy f-ck, chippy c-nt, chippy cow.

also, swap ‘chippy’ for ‘pub’ and instantly describe any beer bellied, strawberry nosed old fart in a leather jacket he’s had since he was 18, who lives in the vault of some dirty low rate public house. he probably has m-ssively strong, gold rimmed bifocal gl-sses the size of the sunday times or a flat cap and a comb-over, or loads of gold bracelets and chains and sovereigns even run dmc would shy away from. he even has a pub name like ‘jukebox-john’ or ‘jack the van’ or ‘vinegar vera’ if it’s a woman.
“ha, john’s got a bag of meat pies the chippy b-st-rd”

“leanne, that’s the third time this week you’ve had pie and chips you f-cking chippy cow”

“mike’s gone and got ‘mam’ tattooed on his forearm, he looks like a right pub c-nt”