choo-choo buffology


-noun, plural -gies
choo-choo buffology is the pseudo-science of repeating the same specious arguments ad-infinitum to avoid rational criticism of transit-rail projects. pract-tioners appear to have better arguments than their critics primarily because their arguments can be summed up within media-friendly sound bites. this phenomenon is frequently attributed to the choo-choo buff spending a majority of their research funds on media consultants and focus groups, while their opponents spend their research funds on actual scientists and economists.
the transit authority hired a choo-choo buffologist for their rapid response team which will allow them to quickly respond to media inquiries asking critical questions. unfortunately for the opponents, this guy is the top choo-choo buff in the nation. his latest sound bite is critical of busses because he claims that people don’t like dirty busses, putting his opponents at a significant disadvantage because it takes more words than can fit into a sound bite to explain that people are turned off by the “dirty” busses which were made that way by people who did not respect the bus enough to keep it clean because people who receive a subsidy can’t appreciate the value of the service and thus are disrespectful – and rolling out shiny new trains won’t correct the problem because they will be dirty within a few years as the same disrespectful people start riding the trains instead; that the only way to prevent the deterioration of the transit system is to charge market rates for riding instead of tax-subsidized rates.

-or-

i wish there wasn’t some way of silencing that choo-choo buff. he’s been practicing choo-choo buffology so long he’s figured out all you have to do is claim that trains are green, and n-body can point out that according to the transit authority’s own environmental impact statements that bus rapid transit is both greener and more efficient without being labeled pro-pollution. he’s really a master choo-choo buffologist.

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