Chris Caldwell
one bad -ss m-th-rf-cker and french horn player. don’t even think about questioning his authority, even if you don’t know him. he’ll slap you across the face and make you spit shine the sh-t out of his patent leather shoes.
he’s one of those guys who you just know could kick your -ss. physically, and mentally, without even giving it a second thought. to be a chris caldwell of the world means to be a virtual connoisseur of anything, and everything. to know everything about the modern world, and to drop musical deuces on those who p-ss you off.
band kid 1: “is that chris caldwell?”
band kid 2: “holy sh-t it is, let’s play our notes right or he’ll pour hot water on our feet and beat our -sses backstage.”
janitor: “wow the gr-ss on the marching field sure did spring up this year!”
drum major: “it’s because caldwell made everyone cry so much they irrigated that sh-t.”
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