Chris Helstein


douchenstein, tweakenstein
that chris helstein tried to touch that girl in her sleep.

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  • digging your chili

    this is a phrase to express interest in another person. if someone is “digging your chili” then they like you in a non-platonic way. “i’m totally digging laura’s chili.” or “um,” he said sheepishly, “i’m kind of digging your chili.” to be into another person; to have the hots for hey man, that smokin hot […]

  • digestive biscuit

    a rugby/boarding school game. all male partic-p-nts gather round a digestive biscuit and m-st-rb-t-. the loser is the one who c-ms last. his forfeit being to eat the said biscuit. also known as soggy biscuit. posh kid #1, “hey, rupert, fancy one of our spiffing games tonight?” posh kid #2, “rather percival! how about a […]

  • Emergency Handshake

    a mediocre dodgeball team comprised of approximately eight individuals who, although are all very impressive individually, stand very little chance in winning anything as a group. “did you guys see emergency handshake yesterday?” “naw, who would want to watch a bunch of amateurs?”

  • Emo Pirate Comb-over

    when an emo too has uneven bangs combed over to the side, covering one eye, thus resembling an eye patch. “aiden is a tool because he wears his hair in that stupid emo pirate comb-over. and his name aiden. double fail.”

  • emphasization

    when you emphasize something using caps lock. it was f-cking rad. wow dude, nice use of emphasization.


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