christbot
literally, one who becomes a robot for jesus christ.
the christbot is almost always a whitebread protestant from the “to be avoided” parts of the united states – ie. the midwest and deep south. frighteningly however, at least one specimen is known to have infiltrated the yankee northeast.
the christbot can be identified by the glazed, unfocused look in his (or her) eyes that changes to “wild” only upon mention of various pre-programmed buzzwords: gays, abortion, activist judges, bill clinton, muslims. during discussion of any of the aforementioned topics, christbots will mechanically refer to bible verses to support their case rather than using logic and reasoning. oddly, every christbot seems to have the same chip in their brains, resulting in every christbot repeating the exact same worn out lines. the christbot (by nature) bludgeons the unsuspecting p-sserby with his or her spikey mechanical arm of ideology.
the average christbot will also have one or more of the following traits: abnormal/irrational love for animals, a large suv, sub-middle-school comprehension levels, several young christbot sp-wn, a past life involving prost-tution and/or drugs, an almost fetish-like appreciation for capitalism, an unwavering affection for anyone named bush (even if he personally -ssrapes the christbot).
me: man, i’de really love to see more lesbians kissing on network television.
christbot: hey! that is immoral. you are immoral. see: proverbs 21:9, revelations 8:1, 2 kings 9:20, 1 corinthians 14:34, 1 corinthians 11:13-15, deuteronomy 22:13, mark 9:43, ephesians 6:5, col-ssians 3:22, t-tus 2:9, 1 peter 2:18, psalm 137:9, malachi 2:3, leviticus 20:9.
me: …
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