Christmas Cake


what date does christmas fall on every year? you guessed it, the 25th. and let’s just say you enjoy a cake on christmas. hypothetically, if you’re supposed to eat that cake on christmas day and no one does, what is the logical thing to do with it? right again, throw it out! a christmas cake is a 26+ year old female who has p-ssed her prime. signs that you have encountered a christmas cake are children, hollister clothing, 19 year old best friend, 1997 saturn sl1 w/ sun roof, etc. you get the point. see also cougar.
“dude, i went to some party on campus last night. it was pretty lame. i thought there would be a lot of fresman hotties, but instead it was swarming with christmas cakes!”
a woman 26 years+ who is considered to be past her prime, undesirable, used goods and/or no good.

the term originates from j-pan where it is tradition to eat cake on christmas. so a cake intended for christmas that was not eaten or is left over is considered bad and should be thrown out. j-panese businessmen coined the term, once again emphasizing the j-panese desire for a young and virginal wife. j-panese women over the age of 26 most often have to rely on either a hastily semi-arranged marriage to a friend of the family or, more frequently, marry a foreigner as they are rarely aware of the stigma or don’t care.
“if we wait until after grad school, i’ll be christmas cake.”
“she just turned 26. she’s christmas cake now.”
“she married her husband at 30, so you know he wasn’t bothered that she was christmas cake.”

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