Cicada

cicada is a multi-powder, ground from the finest milo beans from the forests of bangalore. it is available in all good supermarkets, service stations and coffee making facilities.

cicada now comes with 50% more taste, half the calories and twice the fun! thats right, 2 times more fun. our dedicated scientific team has poured their time and effort to bringing you the most delicious milo beans in their most natural state, via 15 separate processing steps. you needn’t worry about that though, just sit back and let the party in your mouth begin with cicada.

cicada, due to it’s immense popularity has become a cheap addiction of many members of society, with the cicada research development team (crdt)tm attempting to increase it’s addictive properties but up to 66% in the near future.

deemed by some as a ‘miracle drug’, cicada can:
– increases shoe size for men, and decreases it for women
– attack cellulite
– -ssists you with getting an erection (males mainly), whilst being a cheaper alternative to v–gr-
– improves dexterity for quicker sms replies
– reduce telstra txts to half a cent
– can -ssist with poker skills, fraud and using clown suits
– reduces heartburn whilst increasing ur attractiveness by 46%
– pumps enough blood to both your head and your p-n-s (males mainly)
– increases ur pickup lines success rate by 134%
– gets red wine out of white shirts, or lipstick
– answers the door to annoying jehovah’s witnesses for you!
– be used as an alternative for petrol

with the -ssistance of fair trade policies, globalisation and panda bears, cicada is looking to expand it’s operations worldwide within the next 8 to 12 days
“i tried cicada and it changed my life forever” – g-d
an insect who comes out once every 17 years to get some poon-tang. loud and ugly. dies shortly after gettin’ some.
that h-rny cicada tried to hump me.
the insect that can produce the worst sound ever. they are however, notorious for being poor flyers.
there are some varietys of the cicada that produce calls only cats and dogs can hear, which is evidenced by the people being unaffected by some of them while a dog howls in pain from hearing it.
a locust-type insect quite common in the southern united states. some species do hibernate for seventeen years, but not all. they produce a very loud screeching sound somewhat similar to the sound of crickets but much more irritating. they typically are around all summer. they are terribly clumsy fliers; i’ve had several fly into my head.
the sound of the cicadas outside my window blocks out the sound of my tv.

walking outside, the cicadas were deafening.

cicada carc-sses litter the southern sidewalks come autumn.
a delicious delicacy often violently wasted and killed by rude people, when they could feed the hungry.

very good in brownies 😉
“do you want a brownie?” “yea sure… mmm this is good! whats in it?” “cicadas…”
an internet message boards legend.
cicada is the pr0n master — he brings gifts of pr0n for all to the message boards he visits. pr0n0 claus, if you will.
male member of intellectualwh-r-s forums who lost his virginity to a stripper when he got way too drunk. claims he doesn’t remember. note that he also lost a $1,200 lighter (probably at the club), and had the indecency to tell the bouncer that it was ‘worth more than his monthly salary’. it is unexpected that he will ever see that lighter again, but since he is a rich person, he’ll just waste money on another. no big deal.
“hey, did you hear about cicada?”
“no, what happened?”
“lost his v-card and $1,200 lighter to a stripper when he got trashed. i don’t pity him.”