City Hall
a song by tenacious d]. its the last song on their self-t-tled alb-m. its awesome. go listen to it now.
at the end theres loads of silence and then another song that goes:
“yeah, but you didn’t f-ckin’ come out with this one
malibu nights, tangerine dreams,
malibu neighs, malibu dreams,
malibu, makin’ a poo.
stinky poo, lookin’d view.
because it’s time for my breakfast,
it’s time for some cheese.
it’s time for the stink,
time for the breeze,
time for the… hah-or-eeee!
all you people up there in city hall,
you’re f-ckin’ it up for the people that’s in the streets.
this is a song for the people in the streets,
not the people city hall.
all you motherf-ckers in the streets it’s time to rise up,
come along children and f-ckin’ rise!
lots of times when me and kg are watchin’
all the f-ckin’ sh-t that goes down at city hall,
we get the feeling we should f-ck sh-t up,
yeah we should f-ckin’ start a riot.
a riot!
we have ’em screaming in the streets,
we have ’em tippin’ over sh-t and breakin’ f-ckin’ windows of small businesses,
and settin’ f-ckin’ fires!
and settin’ f-ckin’ fires!
and settin’ f-ckin’ fires!
and then after the smoke is cleared,
and the rubble has been swept away,
me and kg will peek out our heads.
we’ve been watching the riots on a monitor twenty floors below sea level,
from a bunker.
we did it rage-kage, we beat the b-st-rds of city hall!
but now what will we do?
we must rebuild. but who will lead us in the rebuilding process?
man, it’s got to be someone with the know-how
and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land.
no, not me and kg, we don’t have the cognitive capacity to lead…
alright, we’ll do it!
we’ll lead as two kings,
we’ll lead as two kings.
ahhhaaa (two kings, we’ll lead as two kings)
ah-ha ah-how,
we’ll lead as two kings.
the first decree is to legalize marijuana.
the tyranny and the bullsh-t’s gone on too long.
you old f-ckin’ shrivs who blocked it’s legalization,
you’re banished from the land!
we’ll lead as two kings,
we’ll lead as two kings.
ahhhaaa (two kings, we’ll lead as two kings)
ah-ha ah-how,
lead as two kings.
the second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust,
or ocean dumpage. from now on, we will travel in tubes!
we’ll lead as two kings, oh, yeah,
we’ll f-ckin’ lead as two kings.
get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
(tube technology.) chop, chop, let’s go.
third decree: no more… rich people: and poor people.
from now on, we will all be the same… ummm, i dunno,
i gotta think about that…
we’ll lead as two kings
ah yeah, ah yeahhhahahaha.
ha-ha-ho-hee, ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho-ho.
jb: oh my g-d.
kg: ahh… what?
jb: dude, the red phone is flashing.
kg: oh, yeah.
jb: let me scoop that up. h-llo? two kings.
kg: who is it?
jb: what?! no! no f-cking way!
kg: what?
jb: rage, there’s a potato famine in idaho, you gotta go down there!
kg: oh my g-d… what?
jb: dude, i gotta stay here!
kg: why do i have to go?
jb: please! please!
kg: oh, g-d, okay.
jb: awesome… is he gone? alright, emergency meeting of parliament.
all right parliament, i know this is f-cked up,
but rage, he can’t be king anymore.
dudes, he’s encroaching on my decrees!
seriously, let’s make him “duke,” a kick -ss “duke.”
or “leader formerly known as king,” but– uh-oh he’s comin’ back…
we’ll lead as two kings, oh yes
we’ll really lead as two kings.
kg: uh, dude?
jb: rage.
kg: i went all over idaho…
jb: yeah?
kg: uh, plenty of potatoes everywhere.
jb: what? there was no famine?
kg: yeah, there was no famine, no.
jb: dude.
kg: i don’t know what’s uh…
jb: a toast…
kg: a toast…
jb: long live the “d.”
kg: long live the “d.”
clinking of gl-sses
jb: long live me. i’m sorry, i poisoned your wine.
kg: what?
jb: for the good of the land.
kg: you p– i poisoned yours… huh heh, as well.
jb/kg: noooooooooo!!!!!
no!
city, city, city, city, city, city, sh-tty.
sh-tty, city, sh-tty, sh-tty, city, city, sh-tty.
hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall.
people inside me are askin’ me to smoke up city hall,
’cause no one here is talkin’.
people inside me are askin’ me to blow up city hall,
’cause no one here is rockin’.
people inside me are askin’ me to blow up city hall,
’cause everyone is rock-’em sock-’em robots.
everyone is rock-’em sock-’em robots.
everyone is rock-’em sock-’em go! oh!
spoken
jb: don’t, cut that part out.
kg: we’ve got it.
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