clown meat

the meat mcdonald’s uses in their hamburgers. originally a joint venture between monstano and mcdonald’s restaurant chain, using breakthrough genetic modification techniques, gonna horribly awry. ronald mcdonald was artificially insemination with his own gametes, and produced two perfectly obese male offspring whom he named “100%,” and “beef.” these offspring were then genetically modified to reproduce with a gestation rate faster than that of cattle, and with a litter of approximately 35 clowns, averaging over 500lbs. seeing the potential for return on investment, mcdonald’s then trademarked the phrase “100% beef,” paying homage to ronald mcdonald’s first two inbred sons. fortunately, no cattle are ever harmed by mcdonald’s, because their hamburgers are made with the choice meat of inbred clowns.
let’s go get some clown meat sandwiches at mcdonald’s!

mcdonald’s is humane and supported by peta, because they use choice cut clown meat.

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