Code Paisley


sweeping generality for actually saying something exciting and original if you get the once-in-a-lifetime chance to use the cashier’s intercom at walmart or a similar franchise; ie, if you say “cleanup in aisle 69” or “code red in feminine hygiene products” or make way off base s-x sounds, this is not a code paisley, and you fail.
walmart cashier to the person in front of you: let’s go look for that.
you, to intercom, in accent of choice: attention, valued walmart customers, we have a code paisley. i repeat, we have a code paisley, all badly dressed old women please evacuate immediately. other valued walmart customers, please remain calm and follow protocol and the danger will soon be p-ssed. thank y-
walmart cashier: get off of that! do you want to get me fired from the career opportunity of a lifetime?!

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