Colbert Hair
colbert hair is a fluid synthesis of dynamic characteristics that drive the success of the colbert report. like the eye on the dollar bill, the hairdryer in colbert’s crest casts a conservative net of hairspray on tyranny. flowing on parallel paths, the shinyness, perfectness, and mind oozing schmegmatic funness of colbert hair blend into a love hate cauldron of b-tchslap.
i woke up one day, put my b-lls in my backpack, shelacked my hair, and said “… d-mn, it is a colbert hair day.”
your friend may approach you, and instead of saying, “dude, your freakin hair looks t-ts today,” he may exclaim, “for sh-t sakes pimpstick, you’ve got the colbert hair!”
if your hair is so devine as to shine and protect, then you have colbert hair. if you purch-ssed colbert’s sperm in a can at walmart and used it as gel, then you have colbert hair. if you have been arguing with your inner voice about who’s claw-like bangs would work in a fight, a latina or mormon polygamyst, then you may or may not have colbert hair.
the other day i had colber hair, but i just pulled that sh-t out of the f-cking drain and dumped that schmegma right into my b-ttcrack just to see what it felt like.
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