College Punk
an 18-25 year old (typically male) who calls themselves a “punk” because they own 10 or 12 of the more popular punk alb-ms on vinyl and sport a descendents t-shirt on the days they’re not putting on their starbucks uniform to go to work.
they usually have a handful of friends who are more or less the same and sometimes they’ll go to shows and stand in the back and look bored. they eschew the fashion aspect of the culture and tell people it’s because punk isn’t a fashion statement but it’s mostly because they know they couldn’t pull the look off and are too afraid to try.
they’re very fond of posting photos of their black flag and minor threat alb-ms on reddit and waxing philosophical about “what punk means” and how much they hate n-z- skins despite never encountering one in their lives. they also claim to hate the movie slc punk but secretly they all own a copy that they watch on a regular basis.
they are, without a doubt, the ultimate posers and deep down most of them know it which is why they call anyone with a studded jacket or a hawk a “fashion punk” in order to compensate for their own lameness. once they reach their mid to late twenties they’ll box up their vinyl, stop going to shows and basically become just like every other khakis wearing, latte sipping, middle cl-ss douchebag.
a: check out this photo of me with henry rollins! see how hardcore i am! i am so not a poser (college punk).
b: yeah, man, let’s go to a show tonight!
a: no thanks, my parents haven’t sent my weekly allowance check yet and i have to be at starbucks early tomorrow.
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