Colloquialitist

(ca-low-kwee-ahl-leet-ist) a portmanteau of “colloquial” and “elitist”. a colloquialitist is a person who believes in maintaining the use of formal or “proper” english words. this usually applies to both speech and writing, although some are only concerned with one or the other. the colloquialitist can often be recognized by their use of the phrase “that’s not a word” upon being confronted with non-standard or colloquial english words or phrases.

writing-centric colloquialitists often take opposition toward what they regard as improper contractions, such as “gonna” or “wanna” (terms spelled as the writer speaks them, rather than in their correct written form of “going to” and “want to”) or toward verb tenses that they feel are incorrect – such as “snuck” instead of “sneaked”. knowingly or not, colloquialitists of this type are moving against the evolution of language, and often irritate people who use colloquial terms, slang words, or simply a different dialect of english to the colloquialitist in their writing.

speech-oriented colloquialitist’s arguments typically regard pr-nunciation – such as “both” being pr-nounced “bolth”. this type of colloquialitist may not understand that the pr-nunciation in question might be correct in the speaker’s own dialect or area, or believes that only their own dialect is correct.

this term should not be confused with “grammar-n-z-“, or applied to people who oppose provably incorrect use of language such as spelling errors.
man 1: did you know that jennifer garner argued with conan o’brien last night on whether or not “snuck” was a word? she insisted that it wasn’t, and said that since conan went to harvard he should know better.
man 2: i bet he didn’t take that well.
man 1: no he did not. he got out a dictionary and read the definition of “snuck” to her face on air.
man 2: serves her right for being such a colloquialitist.