Comb Beard Man
one of many aliases used by respected student journalist a.r.
the disparity between the behavior of a.r. and the flamboyant, raucous, bawdy antics of comb beard man has lead many experts to argue that dissociative ident-ty disorder is at play here.
like the alternate persona of ‘steve’ in the case of kenneth “hillside strangler” bianchi, the comb beard man persona may become dominant at certain times and commit acts that a.r. is quite unaware of.
sources close to a.r. describe him as hardworking, shy, demure and humble. all-around, a professional newsman.
comb beard man, on the other hand, is known to have a comb perpetually dangling from his beard, smoke cuban cigars, partake in episodes of drunken debauchery (including but not limited to: drinking openly in a university cl-ssroom, drinking openly in university public areas, shooting beans and liquor simultaneously, etc.), -ssociate with known communists, commit petty theft (mostly of mints or plates), wander about the community pantsless, and defile stuffed animals. there are also indications that comb beard man may be a major figure in the operation of a local ‘s-x farm’.
there is currently not enough data to determine whether each of a.r.’s other aliases (ex.: captain carlsburg) is a distinct personality. further research is necessary.
“the first time that i seriously doubted the notion of a kind and loving g-d was when i saw comb beard man with his pants around his ankles”
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