congrammer
the opposite of a competent and conscientious computer programmer.
congrammers usually don’t rtfm and frequently deliver buggy and unmaintainable code, which programmers will loathe them for.
congrammers survive in the corporate world by deceiving non-technical managers who naively appreciate them for their -ss-kissing qualities and “yes sir” att-tude. some congrammers manage to go unsupervised, and by the time managers realize how badly they have damaged their product, it’s sometimes too late to go back and have a programmer fix everything.
congrammers are unlikely to give programmers any real credit for saving their projects, but programmers must willingly help them anyway since otherwise they won’t be considered “team players”.
programmer 1: hey, i can’t follow this module.c code. it’s filled with like magic constants and 2,000 line functions. i don’t think this guy understood pointers, either… and why did he write his own sh-tty version of strtol()? wtf…
programmer 2: oh yeah… that was all done a while ago by paul, our old congrammer at the time. after 3 years of sh-t they finally wised up and let him go. your guess is as good as mine… anyways, welcome to the team and good luck fixing that code.
programmer 1: fml
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