coniferophilia
(noun)
(1) (biology) a profound interest in conifers: cone-bearing seed plants with vascular tissue, better known as pine trees, cedars, firs, redwoods, spruces…
(2) (psychiatry) a type of dendrophilia, i.e. s-xual attraction to trees, more specifically conifers. dendrophilia is a paraphilia. paraphilic dendrophiliacs and coniferophiliacs are aroused by trees and sometimes want to have s-xual contact with them. extremely rare.
– “how come you know so much about pines?”
– “actually, i was talking about spruces, jerry. but anyway, i’m a coniferophiliac, really.”
– “what the h-ll? you wanna f-ck trees??”
– “no, no, no, it just means i am interested in conifers.”
– “that’s not what urban dictionary says.”
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