the only way to tell a b-tch to calm down
margaret: omg i f-cking hate you
bob: cool your tools margaret
anyone who been married more than five times and has children who are lowkey emotionally unstable dechane audrey shingles stay away! you freaking have deshingles! when you think you lit, but you been married a bunch a times and your children are lowkey serial killers whoa! flip off man, you have deshingles!
- weekend worrier
a person who engages in their chosen hobby only at the weekends, but, instead of enjoying themselves, spends the entire time preoccupied with troubling thoughts of a mostly mundane nature, e.g. office politics, family strife, the spectre of their own mortality. ‘yeah, i guess you could call me a ‘weekend worrier’. note how i pr-nounced […]
- brandon's dick
tiny little thing. that can’t fit in v-g-n-. brandon’s d-ck is tiny. n-body would want to suck it.
a person who is beautiful inside and out. she likes to be her self and is quirky,some what smart , and attracts all the guys. she does not like sports that much but is good a playing them. she is not picky , but prefers some things .she is wise and kind. if you need […]
the time it takes for the light to turn green and the idiot behind you to honk. red light. green -honk!- well, f-ck give me a bit longer than an idiosecond to go!