Coquitlam

a decent neighborhood in vancouver where you can’t even wave your arm without slapping some iranian or chinese “gangster” (i use the term as loosely as humanly possible).

home to a pretty nice mall (yeah, i’m including poco in this definition) and that’s about it. crime isn’t too bad but for some reason the place does have this sort of grimy impression.
guy 1: dude, let’s go to coquitlam, i think mahsood is finally gonna put out.

guy 2: i’m not driving all the way from north van to poco just to watch you get herpes from some freshman persian wh-r- with tan lines on her t-ts.

guy 1: fine then, let’s go to that boston pizza a couple blocks down from the mall.

guy 2: now that i will drive for.
a suburb in the gva (greater vancouver area) with a rising population. their is a large asian population, as well as many whites, blacks, and hispanics. there is a small number of east indian people but that number is increasing do to the large population of the connecting city (surrey) which has a m-ssive east indian population. coquitlam is fairly safe in some areas but in others it is quite dangerous. coquitlam also has a large hip hop/ rap scene. coquitlam is also known for having a large number of shootings each year compared to the surrounding suburbs. an area of coquitlam known as poco is known for being the area in which robert pickton (a physco killer who killed many women in the gva) is/was from. coquitlam is known for having a large number of gangs (ckv, jbc, red scorpions, u.n., h-lls angles, etc). sometimes referred to as vancouvers little compton but now surrey and east van are claiming that t-tle. most of the crime within coquitlam consists of pot grow ops, gang shootings, -ssaults, and car theft. coquitlam has 3 movie theatres, a very large mall, and many large grocery stores such as super store. also because coqutuitlam is at the base of some large mountains there is commonly bears that venture down into the town at night.
jon: did you hear about that stuff that happened in coquitlam on the weekend?
carlos: no, why? another person get killed by a bear?
jon: no, some dude got shot on lansdown and another dude got shot up on lougheed.
carlos: oh…
a victorian s-xual act, as decreed by craig ferguson
‘i say lord percy, did you perform coquitlam?’

‘yes i did, and let me just say that lady foxingtonworthy will never be the same again.’

‘and the type of coquitlam…was it port coquitlam, or starboard coquitlam?’

‘oh, always starboard.’

‘well, port out, starboard home.’

– craig ferguson lmao
a town of mostly asians. the whites there are either complete druggies or straight g’s (or atleast most of them think they are). one of the best towns around. it is said if someone is seen wearing blue, they will get jumped by one of the many blood-sets.
person 1: have you seen all these asians and gangsters?
person 2: h-ll yeah it’s coquitlam all over again