cotgrave
a term used to describe h-m-s-xual rentboys. most commonly used in the north eastern regions of england.
did you see those two cotgraves banging each other up?!
a former policeman in durham, on the run from the law after a drugs bust at jimmy’s house went wrong. he has style, wit, a gun, and a whacking stick. don’t get in his way, or you’ll pay! big time!
he has starred in many films such as “enter the cotgrave” and “the return of the copper who wants to kill for justice : a cotgrave story”.
it is generally beleived that at birth he was taken away from the hospital and thrown in a radioactive swimming pool and has super powers. did i mention that? yeah he can fly and shoot lasers from his eyes. also she shoots fire. oh yeah, and he is super strong.
he is generally found at jimmy’s house where he beats up people he doesn’t like such as stupid f-gs that are like “hahaha you used teh standby glitch you noob!!”. cotgrave is a hero among men. he should have a day named after him, and also he should have a car which is like the batmobile, but is called the “cotmobile”. doodles sits on the back seat shooting out the window at p-ssers by of course. jimmy is in the p-ssengers seat, and vuvu…well i don’t know where he is, lets just say he is on the “val mobile” which is like the cotmobile but less cool in many ways.
anyway like i was saying, if you meet a man in the street with red eyes, a ripped shirt, fire breath, muscles, and wings, you will know that it is cotgrave, and no matter how well behaved you have been, you have 20 seconds to live..
(if you’re lucky)
“oh my god, argh! he is ripping my head off, with a fork! raghagh!”
“what up, cotgrave. please don’t kill me”.
and now for a role play, where cotgrave is undercover as a libarian..
man: h-llo, where do i return this book?
cotgrave: havn’t you heard of the dewey decimal system?!
man: no shut up!
cotgrave : -pulls out sword-. you’re f-cked now, you stupid moron
man: noo, please don’t kill me!
cotgave: you know, up until now, i always wanted to kill a man like you….so goodbye!
-kills-
the end
a former mining town in nottinghamshire, since the closure of the mines, it has since become a chav city. avoided at all costs
a: “err, i think we are entering cotgrave, i think we should turn round”
b: “would you look at those chavs! run!! they’re coming!”
chavs: “oi”
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