couch safety


noun: a place of safety or refuge from social outcast, embarr-ssment, and ridicule constructed via cushion, fabric, and puffs; an inlet of refuge from post-intoxication induced stupidity and promiscuity; the vessel in which one watches horror films, psychological thrillers, or consumes the domino’s pizza (occasionally by the grace of sirmarmasir, all 3 at a time).
“yo gypsy, you think you’re in couch safety right now? you’re not – get back to the frialator and don’t be stealing no mcnuggets!”

“judy enveloped herself in the swaft of couch safety and began her on-demand rental of ‘the ruins’…’ah’ she thought to herself, ‘what a perfect sunday afternoon’.”

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