Cristmist
cristmist is an atheist holiday that starts at 12 (noon) on december 24th and goes until 12 the following day. crista means ‘ridge’ or ‘crest,’ so cristmist is on set on a day that commonly has a spike in precipitation. the 24/25th of december has an excellent record to this matter, and was thus chosen for the main festivities.
gifts are given because they cause a warm fuzzy feeling that is supposed to stay with you throughout the cold of winter.
the tree that they are commonly placed under represents your family tree because cristmist is a day for families to get together. the optional ornaments and decorations on the tree represent the individual characteristics of the different members of the family.
gifts are delivered by ex-ninjas who have gained a little weight and now dress in red to show that they have retired and choose to spend their nights delivering presents instead of killing people.
given crista = spike, and mist = precipitation.
crista + mist = cristmist
spike + precipitation = december 24/25
∴ cristmist = december 24/25
as an atheist, i celebrate cristmist.
Read Also:
- Cristorey
the fear of every lawn. cristorey comes to every house early in the morning to cut your gr-ss. he is so sneaky, you won’t even know he is under you’r bed!
- Critical Care
a medical specialty specializing in the care of those in the critical profession. including movie critics, food critics, fashion critics, etc. also, these specialists tend to be gay. hey ladies, i’m studying to be a critical care doctor. soooo, you mean you’re gay?
- crizzz-a-cron
when something has a greatness level above ordinary words like awesome or cool. you are watching a really kick -ss zombie movie and a really brutal death just occurs. instead of saying, “awesome!” you could say crizzz-a-cron! “that death was straight up crizzz-a-cron!”
- crossed the line
when you say something about someone that shouldn’t ever be said with them around, not knowing that they’re listening nearby, only to respond to you with unexpected anger and fury. xbox kid 1: yo i heard mike’s girlfriends armpits were hairy. xbox kid 2: yeah man me too. mike: you guys crossed the line, next […]
- Crotch boxer
an overzealous bikini waxer who causes bruising to the region. oh my god! i was checking out my wax in the mirror and noticed a huge bruise! it looks like i’ve been cooter punched! i’ll never go back to that woman–she’s a total crotch boxer.