crusades

a popular pastime during middle ages in which partic-p-nts celebrated the king of peace by raping and slaughtering every muslim in sight. generally considered the beginning of the age-old christian tradition of killing those who are different from them.
muslim: welcome to jerusalem!
crusader: (cuts muslim’s head off) yay crusades!
9 more definitions
the crusades were pope-sanctioned military endeavors during the 11th, 12th, and 13th centuries against non-christians. goals included capturing jerusalem and expanding territories in general.
christian occupation of syria disappeared after the ninth crusade.
a series of wars n sh-t that happened in ancient medieval times. so you got the holy land, jerusalem. this place is like mecca to christians and catholics. for some reason the arabs, islams, saracens etc wanted it. so the arabs marched thier huge army and said “we’ll take it”. meanwhile in europe, all the white boys there got really p-ssed off about this and got together, got some weapons and marched to jerusalem getting into all kinds of shennanighans on the way. so the white boys get to jerusalem and slaughtered the arab army and the pope was all happy again. then you get this guy named saladin who had a huge army and wanted jerusalem back from the “blue eyed demons” as ahe called the white men from europe. one of this “blue eyed demons” happened to be richard the lionheart from england. he also had an army that was a bit smaller that saladins but he himself was a tough, streetsmart f-cker who could handle himself on the battlefield. the forces meet and a huge battle called asurf takes place. richards white boys win the battle against the arabs. saladin gets realy cut about this and puts a jihad on their -ss. this is serious sh-t coz u got muslims with jihads and eurotrash with crusades. so the white boys spill heaps of innocent blood and kill and murder and make one h-ll of a mess then sign a peace treaty with the muslims. like whiteboys do, they kill n make mess and when things get hectic they think f-ck this and leave. they went back to europe and im pretty sure that they come back a few times to cause a bit more trouble. meanwhile the jews who lived here just stood back and hoped that the white boys would protect them coz they aint had an army scince the romans f-cked them. sadly today theres still b-tchin about who lives here.
“man those crusades were f-cked up hey”
“jihad!”
“ok”
a holy war of liberation and oil.
operation “iraqi freedom”
a crusade supporting soreal cru in the show ‘americas best dance crew’. some of soreal cru’s greatest fans came together in a facebook group and formed the soreal crusade to vote for soreal cru so that they will get the t-tle of america’s best dance crew! smash it up!

>explosionnnn!!!< soreal cru will win because they have the crusade behind them a series of conflicts (1096-1204) in which european conscripts called by the catholic church attempted to conquer the holy land. the first crusade (1096-1099) was actually an answer to the byzantine empire's (the surviving eastern half of the roman empire, and the largest christian country at the time) call for -ssistance fighting the muslims. pope urban ii asked the catholics to go on an "armed pilgrimage" to the holy land and establish a kingdom there. this call wasn't answered by any monarchs, and very few n-bles or knights. for the most part, the "crusaders" were an angry mob of commoners such as peasants, merchants, and prost-tutes. somehow this mob managed to establish a kingdom in jerusalem, which later fell to the muslims. the second crusade (1147-1149) was a bit better organized, but was met with heavy muslim resistance. the third crusade (1189-1192) was answered by king richard i of england, king philip ii of france, and frederick i barbarossa of the holy roman empire (germany). frederick drowned in a river on the way to the holy land, and philip and richard began fighting among themselves. the fourth crusade (1202-1204) was the last major one. these crusaders weren't even after the holy land this time; they sought to defeat the byzantine empire, and thus were fighting other christians. the fact that the crusades even happened is sadly ironic, as jesus' teachings were of love and peace. what president bush says when he forgets his scripted answer and makes an accidental allusion to the most significant form of religious imperialism of all time. reporter: well mr. bush, what are we going to do about these terrorists? bush: well, we're going to conduct a crusade... reporter: -cringe-