crystal lake

the “crunkest” city east of the mississippi. home to the world famous dole mansion, summer home of bobby banana. originally the leader of ice exports to near-by chicago, the quiet birthplace of some styx members, has now swelled to a population of about 50 thousand. the govenment flawed, the school system is surprisingly above average, churning out state pom t-tles like so many ice blocks of yesteryear. having every chain store known to illinois, the city has become quite the commercial hub for the northwestern chicagoland area. and in the process quietly annexing surrounding wealthy townships with all the ferocity of a hungry hungry hippo. the discoverer, ziba beardsley, was quoted as saying, “my parents have given me quite a terrible moniker,” and “this lake is as clear as crystal”

chip: “i heard crystal lake pickling and canning company once owned a dilly of a pickle factory in the downtown district of our fair city”
danny: “yeah, they closed it down because your mom is such a b-tch”
chip: “good call by the chamber of commerce, they really are true captains of industry”
danny: “now only if they would do something about that hippie/mexican problem”
chip: “story of my life.”
danny: “lets go get stuck in traffic”
chip: “thats easy to do, lets take any street at any time of the day”
danny: “cute shoes, i love crystal lake”
aka camp blood.

the place where deformed and ofter tormented child jason voorhess supposedly drown but the body was never found.

he rose up and has brutaly murdered anyone who dares enter his yard.
jason hacked them up at crystal lake.
a town northwest of chicago, close to many other towns, such as poplar grove many of the town’s inhabitants refer to each other as “pro” or “boss”. they also are home to some self-centered and narcissistic people. the town’s inhabitant’s also like a short variety of music. for example, they worship lmf– and lil wayne, but not much else. the town is also dangerously conservative, h-m-phobic, and pro-life, meaning people with common sense are often excluded from daily activities, which include starting sh-t at the local roll-a-rink, and conforming to popular culture.
hey man, you wanna go to crystal lake? naw, man, i’m a liberal, they’ll eat me alive.

(typical conversation between crystal lakians) dude, you’re such a pro! yeah, i work it like a boss. -turns to gay kid- h-m-!
the “crunkest” city east of the mississippi. home to the world famous dole mansion, summer home of bobby banana. originally the leader of ice exports to near-by chicago, the quiet birthplace of some styx members, has now swelled to a population of about 50 thousand. the govenment flawed, the school system is surprisingly above average, churning out state pom t-tles like so many ice blocks of yesteryear. having every chain store known to illinois, the city has become quite the commercial hub for the northwestern chicagoland area. and in the process quietly annexing surrounding wealthy townships with all the ferocity of a hungry hungry hippo. the discoverer, ziba beardsley, was quoted as saying, “my parents have given me quite a terrible moniker,” and “this lake is as clear as crystal”
chip: “i heard crystal lake pickling and canning company once owned a dilly of a pickle factory in the downtown district of our fair city”
danny: “yeah, they closed it down because your mom is such a b-tch”
chip: “good call by the chamber of commerce, they really are true captains of industry”
danny: “now only if they would do something about that hippie/mexican problem”
chip: “story of my life.”
danny: “lets go get stuck in traffic”
chip: “thats easy to do, lets take any street at any time of the day”
danny: “cute shoes, i love crystal lake”
when you load a lot of crystal meth into a bub, you melt it down and it makes a puddle… and if you load a lot, it makes a lake..
sh-tt homie, you know how to git er dun.. you loaded a crystal lake.. we’re gonna be straight up geetered!