CTY Depression

the horrible, bittersweet depression one suffers after leaving cty. most common in squirrels, who finally have found their place, and nomores/nevermores, who have trouble accepting that they can’t come back next year. cty depression/withdrawal is caused by the rough transition from a total, glorious immersion in cty to the “real world” and all its downers.

symptoms include (but are not limited to): bawling your eyes out at random intervals for six months, feeling incredibly lonely until your friends email you back, obsessively am-ssing canon songs, crying upon hearing american pie, nightswimming, stairway to heaven, forever young, etc., writing/rewriting your final p-ssionfruit speech, severe hug (and in rare cases make-out) withdrawal, daydreaming about cty almost constantly for at least until school starts, feeling alienated from family/friends, and the “outside world” in general, constantly thinking you are going to run into cty friends everywhere you go, making jokes only ctyers understand (“frank w-ng swung his lanyard once, afterwards he decided the world didn’t need another grand canyon”), feeling nutritionally incomplete without potatoes, randomly quoting monty python, insisting 42 is a square number in school, bursting out laughing when you hear any word that sounds like “anita,” “tuvin”, or “schlecter”, feeling naked without a lanyard, panicking on thursdays when you realize you aren’t carrying a towel, becoming convinced that every cold you have is a case of “the schnad”, and randomly shouting “i lose!” and being puzzled when all you get in response are weird looks.

the only known cure is total, immediate immersion in cty, but this is usually unable to be used until after 1 year of symptoms, and such treatment cannot be administered to roughly 25% of the population.
last year my cty depression lasted until i knew i was coming back to cty this year.