dab lord
if the force were made of hash oil, a dab lord would be a 900-year-old jedi of unfathomable power. dab lords are migratory creatures, primarily found at edm/dubstep/livetronica shows (in the winter) and festivals such as tomorrowworld and camp bisco (in the spring/summer/fall). they sport an array of different paraphernalia intended for the doing of dabs. they are benevolent creatures, often willing to share their dabs with others, particularly artists. they have a unique propensity for finding a way into artist-only areas and green rooms for the express purpose of ensuring that edm artists are high before, during, and after their sets. you can spot a dab lord by his multicolored, psychedelic garb, by his baseball cap, covered in various pins, and by his similarly-decorated backpack, used to transport the aforementioned paraphernalia. if you see a dab lord in the wild, be friendly, greet him with a hearty “yo, dude!”, and prepare for a long conversation about edm interrupted by numerous dabs. dab lords possess the ability to avoid becoming dabbed out, regardless of the biochemical hurricane one might find upon inspecting a blood or urine sample. if you spot a dab lord who appears dabbed out, it is far more likely that he has recently consumed ketamine or one of any number of recreational research chemicals. you are in no danger from such a dab lord, but you can also safely choose to ignore him, as there is little chance that he will remember the encounter.
“did you see that dab lord at the gramatik tonight? he was chiefing on 3 different g-pens all by himself!”
“bro, that’s nothing — there were three dab lords in the exmag green room. place was greenhoused with pure vape, bro! not an artist in sight!”
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