Daisy Puke

otherwise known as jessica simpson this blonde, typically texan barbie cheerleader-type (taken to extremes) has recently starred in a remake of the dukes of hazzard (which was a cr-ppy show originally). the film should be re-named jessie’s dry humping video. the film was a flimsy excuse to be able to show as much of jess writhing around nearly naked simulating s-x with a car (general lee) when recording “these boots are made for walking” as a spin-off. the song too was bad-to-sh-t orignally and this cover is even worse. the only reason people (guys) are buying it is cuz of the p-rny image she portrays. yep, put out any old cr-p and make it p-rny, and it’ll still sell.

lil’ ol’ jess has even commented that daisy puke is a “good role model for girls” ?!?!
so, now jess is some kind of cultural psychology expert to be able to quantify a statement like this? if asked to explain she would no doubt give that vacant blonde stare and say something reeled off parrot-fashion that she’s heard someone else say like “oh, she’s so strong “ whatever. this comment comes from a woman who, when being filmed for the newlyweds show, was so insecure about her husband being around “hot” dancers for his new video, went out and spent 700 dollars on new underwear for herself to look even hotter. jesus.
she had to train for at least 2 hours a day for a few months before filming the good ol’ dukes so there’s another visual lie being perpetuated by media. many girls will think she just looks like that normally and will think there’s something wrong with themselves, or will take it to the other extreme and become anorexic gym addicts.

as for the video, all she needs to do is shed a couple of very small items of clothing and you have her lapdancing. she must’ve been to a few clubs to be able to copy the moves so accurately (women like her always try to copy the dirty strippers so that they can keep their man – never works cuz all the other women are doing it too). but women watching will just pretend that they don’t know their partners are secretly f-cking her in their imaginations.

so, go ahead, release the film and the video but don’t expect me to watch or to let my kids watch it, and above all, don’t expect me to buy into the f-ckin outrageous claptrap that daisy d is a role model for my girls. why do parents have to keep fighting against this garbage?
spineless mom 1 – “oh look at daisy simulating s-x with that car – isn’t she cute, such good clean fun”.

spineless dad 1 – thinks to himself
“yeah, that’s going to give me something to think about later when i am having s-x with you. it’s going to give me a huge hard-on thinking about it later. i’ll jerk off once or twice over her later.”
spineless mom 1 – “did you hear me darling? you look miles away. she is such a good role model for our little britney and christina don’t you think? she’s so strong and uuuhhhhh…hmmm… anyway, we’ll get training bras for them now, start sending them to the gym, and to the surgeon to plan the b–b jobs, teach them how to wear make-up and false blonde hair, bring some strippers and lapdancers home for them to watch and learn, and give them plenty of other images to look at on the internet – (alternatively, have them join the mickey mouse club) – and then when they are 18 they can get a job in a sleazy podunk country hick bar where they will walk/dance around half-naked serving drinks and basking in the knowledge that all the guys just want to f-ck them. oh yes, let’s get them started now! i can’t wait to tell all our friends about the bright future for our girls!
what? what are pedophiles?”

keep your f-cking lies to yourself daisy puke.

2 more definitions
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daisy duke shorts worn by a fat girl.
dude look at that fat chick’s daisy pukes!
ohh gross dude
unlike the famous blue jean shorts made famous by catherine bach on the “dukes of hazzard,” these are the same size but some how a woman 60 pounds bigger fit herself into them.
this reveales horrific sights the back side of her legs which look like someone hit them with a ball peen hammer.
also there may be a mysterious piece of string hanging from the crotch area. what ever you do, “do not pull the string!!!”
i had a blind date the other night.
oh yeah? how’d that work out?
awe man she came out in these pair of “daisy pukes” and i thought i was going to toss my pop tarts!