Darth Maul

darth maul was a weapon forged by the hateful energies of the dark side to ensure the victory of the sith over the jedi order. a creature of pure evil, maul had no personality beyond his ultimate devotion to his master, darth sidious. his goal was singular — to exact vengeance upon the jedi for the decimation of the sith ranks.
the republic first came to know of maul only as a mysterious attacker. while qui-gon jinn was escorting the fugitive queen amidala from tatooine to coruscant, darth maul swept down from above, lunging at qui-gon from his rocketing sith speeder. maul’s attack was relentless; he hammered down lightsaber strikes against the accomplished jedi master, forcing him back time and again. it was only the timely interception of qui-gon by the queen’s royal starship that spared him.

qui-gon was utterly surprised and unprepared for such an attack. the sith, everyone knew, were extinct, disappeared from the galaxy for a millennium. yet the evidence was there — a dark attacker, trained in the jedi arts, brandishing a lightsaber no less.

maul was dispatched by darth sidious to track down the queen, a feat he accomplished through mysterious yet effective means. traveling aboard his sleek sith infiltrator, maul scouted the galaxy for the missing monarch, and reported his findings to his master. when amidala returned to naboo, maul was there, waiting to face the jedi once more.

as an undeniable example of his skill and devotion, maul plunged headlong into battle against two jedi warriors. using his double-bladed lightsaber, maul held off both obi-wan ken-bi and qui-gon jinn in the heart of the theed royal palace. when the jedi became separated, maul killed qui-gon with a well-placed saber strike. ken-bi, enraged, attacked maul. this barrage was deflected by maul who used obi-wan’s touching of the dark side as a conduit for a force attack; using the force, maul pushed obi-wan into a deep mining pit. ken-bi held onto an outcropping for dear life. calming himself by calling upon the light side of the force, ken-bi was able to surprise maul, and cleave him in half with his saber.

a pained look of bewilderment crossed maul’s tattooed face as death overtook him. his body fell into the melting pit, splitting in two as it tumbled into oblivion.

it was only a matter of time before sidious acquired a new apprentice.
darth maul
star wars episode i
when two guys insert (tag team) one girl.
my friend and i darth mauled this girl last night.
when having s-xual intercourse with two women, you put a strap-on on backwards and move in a pendulum motion, penetrating both of the women’s -n-l c-n-ls.
“hey what did you do with ashley and georgia”

“dude, i darth mauled them”

“nice, bro”
a furious black woman on her menstrual cycle. like the clashing of two storms, a darth maul is more devastating due to the combination. often spotted in their natural habitat of urban city centers demanding for watermelon milk shakes at walmart mcdonalds`. often times they believe they can get in shape from using a shake weight. very capable of inflicting black woman fury upon dumb -ss white people, stay away. an infamous combination of black and red.
shane: “holy sh-t dude that lady just tore that mcdonalds cashier a new -sshole.”
john: “yeah bro, i feel like its the phantom menace in here with all these darth mauls wreaking havoc, especially on the plumbing and the watermelon supply.”
when a guy is having a threesome with two girls… puts on a strap on backwards so he’s f-cking one in the front and the other in back. his p-n-s and the strap on, resemble the dual lightsaber used by darthmaul.
yo man i pulled a darth maul with those two chicks last night
when a man’s pee stream splits in two, usually far enough apart that one stream will miss the toilet entirely.
“i was taking a p-ss and just darth mauled all over my shoes.”
a hilarious prank that involves chloroform, super glue, and a darth maul mask. step one: choose a victim to chloroform. step two: chloroform dey -ss. step three: squirt the super glue on victims face; apply liberally. step four: place mask on victims face.

you may also choose to super glue a dual bladed lightsaber onto the victims hand.
example 1:
sami: let’s darth maul phil this weekend.

rich: but i don’t have any chloroform.
sami: i have some we can use!

example 2:
charlie: phil called me this morning crying he was really p-ssed that yall darth mauled his -ss. that wasn’t cool.
sami: shut up charlie or i’ll darth maul you next.
charlie: okay i won’t say anything else about it.