decaf

coffee without coffee
“what the sh-t is up with this coffee?”
“it’s decaf”
“there’s no coffee in decaf!”
as a side note, this term was originally coined by yours truly while listening to “porcelain”, by moby.

the scope of decaf is broad, yet it references a very specific way of life; it hovers like a shadow of true authenticity in a commercialized world. the term decaf aims for the depth of ancestral philosophies seeking enlightenment and virtue through a deeper understanding of the self, yet it has the immediacy and availability of consumer goods/services in the modern free market. the decaf way of life emphasizes some new age values –spirituality, simplicity, holism, transcendence-, borrowed from ancient religions and cults, and satisfies the innate sense of peace and balance through readily purchasable products and services. the original values that they appeal to become exclusively one-dimensional, and the individual is endowed with an alternative, unorthodox ident-ty grounded in conformity and the lack of internal struggle. to be decaf is to look for a false sense of self-fulfillment through ownership, trying to adapt the quest for wisdom to daily life, rather than to adapt daily life to the quest of wisdom.
the most decaf thing you can imagine? well, probably an executive with a ponytail, dressed in white linen, driving his porsche 944 and listening to pogo, heading for a meeting with steve jobs in a zen garden on top of a mies van der rohe skyscr-per. yikes!
1) adjective

term used to describe that which is entirely uncool, lame, stupid, or otherwise deemed unfavorable.

2) noun

an object of non-awesomeness.

synonyms: teh suck
antonyms: coffee
1)
a: i just pwned some noobs on counterstrike.
b: dude, i’m a noob. that’s so decaf.

2)
a: i just lost $100. 🙁
b: decaf, bro.-

-if b should find a’s $100, decaf should still be spoken, although the situation is quite coffee for b.
decaf is word used to describe a person who is just as stupid as decaf coffee. with no flavor or purpose they are completely useless.
david: dude, why don’t you like that chick?
kevin: because she is a f-cking decaf!
a slang term for a particularly masculine lesbian. implies that she is without estrogen, or “decaffeinated”.
person: ew is that a lumberjack?
other person: no, it’s just jen. she’s decaf.
to perform an abortion on a cow.
gawshdarnit, i had to decaf bessie cuz junior forgot to castrate the bull.