Desktop humanitarian


an individual that will regularly receive emails from advocacy groups or occasionaly come across the archetypical charitable donation resource online and will contribute- in trivial amounts, typically- for a do-gooding sense of self-righteousness and to justify any activist-related shpeel they might regularly give in front of friends/family/colleagues in order to appear more altruistic. they usually do not research what/where they are sending their money to and only pay attention to the ethos or appearance of the advertis-m-nt/website involved in receiving the donation, only contributing to the ones that look worthwhile (i.e., emaciated children, dying puppies, etc.).
person 1: “are you aware of the level of animal mistreatment and cruelty that goes on in america on a daily basis? it is horrible, unnecessary, and we need to do something about it- you should donate to the animal liberation front like i do so that their righteous cause can end these atrocities!”

person 2: “the animal liberation front, the alf? while they have fairly good-natured intentions, you do know that they are cl-ssified as a terrorist organization and that they regularly seek out biomedical animal research laboratories at universities to vandalize and sabotage? and all for the sake of setting a few mice or rats free- animals that were being used to help find cures for serious human diseases like alzheimer’s, cancer, and parkinson’s disease. furthermore, they often go after the heads of the labs- professors and phds- by putting bombs under their cars or targeting their families at home, among other things…just to save some animals! in my opinion, animal research is an unfortunate caveat of the far greater good that is medicine, so it is a necessary practice in science. i’m sorry, but their cause just does not sound like something i want to help out with.”

person 1: “typical nihilistic excuse for being cheap. everyone else is doing something! don’t be so selfish!”

person 2: “f-cking desktop humanitarian.”

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