detonating gonaditis
(n.) the medical name for exploding t-st-cl-s. it is divided into two types, acute regional gonadotrophic hernioma (argh) the less serious of the two, and the always life-threatening osteoulcerative colonic hernioma (ouch).the first variety is the most common form of the disease. it is characterized by swelling of one or more t-st-cl-s and acute pain in the groin region. this is accompanied by insomnia, lethargy, and in some cases, severe flatulence. although not immediately life threatening, if left untreated the gonads will continue to swell until the patient is forced to continuously squat, eventually, the gonads burst without warning, emitting an audible pop. in the second form of the disease, detonation occurs spontaneously and without warning, which can be far more psychologically traumatic for the patient than it is physically. even still, the force generated by the rapid pressure release can cause significant injury to the vital organs, resulting in an immediate coma and death. it is estimated that more people are killed each year from detonating gonaditus than are killed on the roads.
both forms of detonating gonaditis are believed to have both genetic and environmental components. if a patient has the disease, then their risk of developing the disease in later life is believed to be close to 100%. similarly, the risk factor is increased by smoking, drinking, and s-x.
i can’t believe what happened to buddy. his b-lls just exploded! the paramedics said it was another sad case of detonating gonaditis.
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