dick waggling contest
any event where males try to prove their worth by comparing their (often irrelevant) possessions/attributes, especially when size is involved. good examples are the comparisons of engine or salary sizes. this meaning originates from the idea that he whose p-n-s is larger is superior; primitive males would ‘waggle their d-cks’ to show whose was bigger.
reporter: president johnson, why are we still fighting the war in vietnam?
lbj: (unzips his fly, draws out his substantial organ): this is why!
onlooker 1: dude, that guy just whipped it out like lbj! it’s like the whole war is just a big d-ck waggling contest!
onlooker 2: that is lbj, fool.
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