Dirty Mallard
a s-xual act performed when a male, while having s-x with a female in either the missionary or more preferably the doggy style position, reaches around his backside and obtains a sizeable amount of sweat from his perineum (a.k.a. chode, brum, taint, etc.). said sweat is then wiped upon the females upper lip, directly underneath the nose. the maneuver is completed with the male folding each of his arms to resemble wings, flapping his “wings”, and vocalizing an ear-shattering “quack-quack”.
as brian was ravishing krista from the rear and giving her the ultimate in s-xual pleasure, krista suddenly felt brians finger on her upper lip. within an instant her olfactory senses were overwhelmed by an extremely foul odor, accompanied by the loud call of the mallard duck and a rush of air upon her backside presumably caused by the flapping of limbs. unbeknownst to krista, she had received the ultimate s-xual insult: the dirty mallard!
the act of scr-ping some duck b-tter from your grundle
and smearing it on one’s face, often under the nose and above the lip, like a dirty sanchez
joe: what’s that on your face?
bob: that nasty f-ck over there just gave me a dirty mallard
joe:….tisfu
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