Dirty Maltese


a person who is from malta. a dirty maltese often feels overshadowed by their northern neighbours, italians. often mistaken for an italian, a dirty maltese will emphatically deny being italian and will loudly proclaim his true nationality saying “i am from malta!”. this is often followed by others in the immediate area quitely whispering “what’s a malta?”.

a dirty maltese is, by definition, a hairy b-st-rd. so hairy in fact that a dirty maltese must regularly trim his entire body. if you share a residence with a dirty maltese it is often advised to cover any personal effects you keep in the washroom area as the tr-mm-ng process can be quite messy and you may find an unpleasant surprise on your tooth brush when you wake up.

popular pick up techniques of a dirty maltese often include incoherant babbling which is often followed by the spilling of one’s drink on the intended conquest.
the dirty maltese shook hands with 3 of his friends promising to fully fund their trip to the world cup of soccer should malta ever qualify. knowing that because malta would never qualify (in a million years), he would not have to follow through on the empty gesture.

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