Dirty Vanilla

dirty vanilla is commonly understood as the smell left on your clothing and person after receiving dances in a strip club. the smell is sometimes misidentified as a singular smell, but in actuality it is a combination of smells that scientists cannot recreate outside of the gentleman’s club. it is a unique combination of cigarette smoke (typically from menthol cigarettes), sweat, baby powder, paper money, cheap perfume, jack daniels, and trace amounts of red bull. the intensity of the smell is in direct proportion to the amount of lap dances received and time spent in the strip club.

dirty vanilla is dangerous because all men are unknowingly attracted to the smell, but non-stripper women are threatened by the smell despite them not fully understanding the origin of it. in order for a man to escape the consequences of bringing the smell home with them, precautions must be taken. complete changes of clothes and a shower before coming home are typical methods for reducing the amount of dirty vanilla brought home since the smell can most commonly be carried on clothing and hair. the smell has been known to linger on a shirt worn to the strip club for up to 48 hours after leaving the club, but reports like this are rare since few lack the bankroll or free time for the amount of lap dances required to get the smell to stick for that long.
dude, my whole laundry hamper smells like dirty vanilla since we went to the strip club yesterday!

yeah, mercedes and trinity sure gave a h-ll of a lap dance!

hey man, can we swing by your house first before you drop me off? i want to borrow a shirt so my girlfriend doesn’t smell the dirty vanilla on me.

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