disasterbation


an irrational exhilaration and enjoyment while experiencing the effects of a natural disaster or other destructive scenario.
all these rich white folk driving around the 9th ward in luxury coaches to go see brad pitt pretending to help new orleans, it’s just yankee disasterbation.
to gorge on the m-ssive amounts of fear-mongering news media that reports on nothing more than tragic and violent events across the country and the world.
the disasterbation in this country was waning after the shooting in arizona until the earthquake/tsunami hit j-pan.
in an attempt to pleasure yourself, you end up hurting yourself. not necessarily s-xual.
after losing $80 in an all-night marathon of playing super poker for quarters instead of studying for the next day’s test, you remark “i should really get to bed and stop this disasterbation.”
a m-st-rb-t–n session on that ends up messy and all over the place.
she came home early, and surprised me while masterubating. so i tried to finish real quick, and it ended up in a complete disasterbation
when your w-nk turns into a disaster for whatever reason.
someone walks in on you.
you ran out of tissues.
your laptop freezes half-way through video.
etc.

guy 1- (w-nking)
guy 2- (walks in) ” ewww! ”
guy 1- (goes red)
guy 2- (walks out)

disasterbation
the act of masturbating so hard and so intensely that your p-n-s falls off into a dark hole/vortex only to be later eaten by angry s-xually frustrated unicorns.
“last night i disasterbated, and it seems i will never be s-xually pleased again. cursed disasterbation !”
the uncontrollable and critical urge to stimulate one’s own genitals for s-xual pleasure, often after an extended period of celibacy (e.g. long road trips spent in shared quarters with family members)
alan: hey, man, wanna go grab a few drinks at the pub tonight?

brian: sorry, i just got back from taking care of my grandmother for three weeks, and she has no internet at her place… it’s time for some serious disasterbation!

alan: no problem, dude. see ya next week!

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