Dolph Lundgren
eons ago, in a time before man, before dinosaurs, before god there was dolph lundgren. since the dawn of time dolph has walked umong humans and protected us from great evils. when giant 16 limbed aliens invaded earth in 542 b.c. it was dolph who turned their own weapons against them and drove them away. to this day he remains the only man to have ever punched out a dinosaur. while dolph is clearly not affected by age, it is rumoured that he is also impervious all known toxins and weapons, close combat, projectile and energy based alike. not even the vile, destructive nature of women can destroy dolph. contrary to popular belief, dolph lundgren is not super-human as he is actually not human. dolph is the personification of pure masculinity. if dolph lundgren were a sound, he’d sound like metal. in his spare time, while not protecting the earth dolph likes to make awesome movies. i highly recommend big trouble in little china town and universal soldier.
bow before the feet of mighty dolph lundgren, though he wouldn’t ask you to cause he’s really a pretty nice guy. smart too, i.q. of approx. 170 and multi-lingual. nonetheless, bow!
afternote: dolph lundgren is in fact not in big trouble in little china town, that was kurt russel. the movie i was thinking of was showdown in little tokyo.
hey kurt russel, guess what? dolph lundgren is better than you.
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