dolphin nanner
the dolphin nanner is the act of a man acquiring eye contact with another man while taking a bite of a banana (which is taboo amongst some circles), even while the victim suspects he may be attempting eye contact.
in order to successfully pull off a dolphin nanner, your whereabouts must be -ssumed (such as behind a cubicle or desk at work), while you actually sneak a little to the left or right of your -ssumed whereabouts. when the moment is right, you jump up and to the side, make eye contact with your target whilst taking a bite of your banana, then drop back down out of sight. the act closely resembles the motion a dolphin makes when it jumps out of the water, swimming ahead of a large boat or yacht.
the premise behind this extremely effective tactic is that humans will naturally look to sudden moving objects, thus affording the offender the split second required to make eye contact and eat a banana at the same time, simulating f-ll-t–, and making the victim feel violated.
guy 1: awww dude, why the f-ck did you just make eye contact while eating your banana? what is wrong with you?
guy 2: i don’t feel remorse; that was the perfect dolphin nanner. you just got dolphin nanned.
guy 1: you’re so g-y.
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