douche-noodle
a rude and irritating person, usually a man, who’s douchiness is so offensive it deems it necessary to hit them over the head with a large foam noodle while the noodler yells “douche! douche!.”
the douche could be trying to engage in unintellectual drunken come-ons attempting to get their noodle (p-n-s) serviced, or simply trying to noodle their way into a group of non-douches.
the only proven remedy to date to deal with douche-noodles is to beat them at their own game by noodling them harder than they were originally trying to noodle you.
douche-noodle: heyyyyy. is that stripes on your jacket? i like stripes. wow. hawt can i spill my drink on you then take you home so you can play with my p-n-s?
noodler: douche! douche! i have a noodle! don’t make me use it! (waves foam pool noodle wildly in douche’s face)
douche-noodle: oh sh-t. i didn’t realize i was being a douche-noodle. sorry. (noodler hits douche-noodle with noodle until he departs in shame and confusion)
1 more definition
the act of having intercourse with a woman who has just douched or is in the process of doucheing, but going limp before getting off. the guy usually still tries desperately to get off, but just ends up making a big mess.
ralph needed to pork carol so bad he couldn’t wait until she finished doucheing. but he is such a chump he ended up with a douche noodle before he could finish.
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