Downdate

when you make an “update” on an operating system for your computer and the only known changes are that all wireless adapters, web cams, microphones, and headphones cease to work, resulting in trauma to the brain.
i was in complete excitement that all 75 updates were complete, but all hope crashed like the software in my computer as i realised it was one m-ssive downdate.
something that’s supposed to be an update, but makes things much worse than before, or in other words, f-cks sh-t up.

a few examples are:
facebook timeline
twitter’s new threading system
google+’s youtube takeover
“what?! youtube has another downdate?! what kind of f-cking crack do they smoke at google?”
an os update to your cell phone that renders it slow as mol-sses and makes one want to pulverize it. a core strategy utilized by phone manufacturers (eg. apple) to force people into upgrading their phones.
i downdated my phone with ios 7, and now i’m screwed…up yours with a rubber hose tim cook!
ios 7, apple
when someone posts an update on facebook which is designed to show how miserable their life is. some that go up are just plain attention seeking over a very minor event but some of course would appreciate a call as they maybe dont have someone irl they can speak to.

not to be confused with “cryptic” updates which don’t get a response when asked “whats up” because they’re just plain annoying and everybody hates them.
{facebook status}
jenny ‘smith’
“why does everyone hate me, this is so tough”
luke ‘jones’
“not another downdate from you!? this has been going on for months and its not good for you! we need to do something about this, i’ll call you”